When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, “Mommy, you are getting fat!”.
I replied, “Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy”.
"I know", she replied, "but what’s growing in your butt?"
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or alive.
"Dead." she was informed.
"How do you know?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn’t move" answered the child innocently.
"You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know", explained the boy, "I leaned over and went ‘Pssst!’ and it didn’t move."